Clouded Sunshine
by KittyDaydreamer
Summary: Haunted by the past, Minako can't sleep at night. But what really clouds her sunny eyes? She isn't who they think she is, is she? Takes place after Lonely Fire.


Clouded Sunshine

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Codename:Sailor V, those belong to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei. I do not profit from this story.

Warnings: Teeny-tiny use of language, a great deal of angst, some implied sexual content, and a rather gory character death.

* * *

Evenings always remind Venus of the past. She sits, staring at the snowy Tokyo skyline from the highest floor of Minako's modeling agency's building. She takes a sip of her coffee, looks out the glass wall, and remembers.

"Oh Kunzite. How things have changed."

One would think that nothing could go wrong in the life of that blonde Aphrodite, but Sailor Venus has experienced things others couldn't imagine in their worst nightmares. Some things, a person just shouldn't remember. Like their own death. Night has always been significant to Venus. It was when Kunzite would sneak to see her when times were good, and night, lit by the fires of the burning Moon Kingdom, was when she and Kunzite killed each other. No, she muses, their nightmares are nothing to her's.

No one looking at her would believe her if she told them. If she told them she was the bitter, battle-hardened Sailor Venus. During the day, Minako herself can hardly believe it. At night, Venus can't sleep. She lives it all again and again, over and over. She sees Serenity's face, terrified as the youma begin to advance on the palace. She smells the fires, the blood and burning flesh. She hears the screams, ringing in her ears, over and over. Failure. Failure. She failed as the leader of the Inner Senshi. Somewhere, a millennium ago, Mars screamed as she died, killing her former lover with her last breath. Serenity, falling to despair at the destruction, the final blow against her is by her own hand, at the sight of Endymion's death in her arms. Venus's own death, the last thing she remembers. She was a failure, in the end she couldn't save anyone. She vowed, never again would she fail like that. Never. And yet, she has, repeatedly. She and the Inner Senshi die, leaving Usagi alone to save the world. She needs to be stronger. They all need to be stronger. They can't depend on Usagi to fix everything alone forever.

Venus looks at her current day senshi with pity. They're beginning to remember. Rei remembers completely. Venus can tell. The warriors of Venus and Mars have always understood each other. In some ways at least.

Venus knows about the stones. As the leader of the Inner Senshi, Venus knows about anything that could give them a tactical advantage, or anything that could be a potential threat. It stands to reason that Kunzite knows about Venus as well. He always was a talented leader in his own right. They were equals, she remembers. They were so often of the same mind. That's how Venus knows Kunzite hasn't asked Mamoru about her. She wouldn't, if she were in his position. They both had too much pride.

Minako knows she can't keep going on like this. Drinking coffee instead of sleeping. Going around in the day time, acting like there's nothing wrong. Sooner or later, something is going to give. Maybe she'll pass out while modeling, or maybe she won't dodge fast enough when fighting whatever left over monster it is this week. So far, none of her fellow senshi have noticed. If she were an actress, Minako would be giving the performance of her life now.

Venus has been avoiding Mamoru's apartment. It's had the sad, but beneficial side-effect of reducing her contact with her fellow senshi. Venus can't risk Kunzite catching a glimpse of her. He would know what was wrong in an instant. But.. what if Kunzite doesn't love Minako like he used to love Venus? That thought hurts almost as much as his betrayal had. Venus has resigned herself to being alone. Venus accepts the love fortune Kaitou Ace told her. Minako... Minako still has hope. They both know: Change is coming.

A few days pass. Venus notices, more and more, signs that Makoto and Ami's memories are simmering beneath the surface of their minds. They don't seem aware of it yet, but Venus is. Makoto doesn't talk about her old sempai as much, starting to realize... that maybe that story didn't actually go the way she thought it did. Ami is throwing herself into her studies even more than usual. Ami avoids Mamoru's apartment too.

It's the next Friday night when it finally happens. We are battling a left-over monster, calling itself Kuroneko-nyan. It was fairly ridiculous. Since it was a black cat everyone was comparing it to Luna, who got rather indignant at the very idea. The battle seemed all but won, when it's tail whipped out towards Venus. Her vision blurred, and she couldn't react fast enough to dodge it. The feeling of its tail squeezing her middle was the last thing she remembered before she lost consciousness. For the first time in weeks, Minako sleeps. Minako dreams.

She dreams about the first night, the confusion of the royal ball, faces and gowns everywhere. She was so very irritated, she couldn't find Princess Serenity anywhere. How could she protect her princess if she didn't know where she was? Princess Venus catches a glimpse of silver hair and turns, expecting to see Serenity. Instead she finds the most remarkable man. She never seen anyone with silver hair that wasn't Lunar royalty. The man, "General Kunzite," her mind helpfully supplies, looks so unshakeable. So confident in himself and his own abilities. It created within Venus a desire to upset that consummate calm. The same way, in the future, Minako wants to upset the pristine, fresh snow. He makes eye-contact with her, and nothing will ever be the same again.

The scene changes, and Venus is in the Lunar gardens at night. She's waiting, waiting for Kunzite to come and meet her. Heart beating fast, she wonders if this will be the night he surrenders himself completely. Princess Venus presides over love, and she is not at all shy about that fact. She can see the red string between her heart and Kunzite's, and for that, she is willing to risk everything. She shakes herself out of her thoughts; she hears something... but it's not Kunzite. It's Jupiter and Nephrite, sparring. Somehow, though born on different planets, Nephrite and Jupiter were both members of the same rare fighting discipline. A discipline most believed lost. It was in this way that Nephrite was Makoto's sempai. Makoto admired him fiercely, and he returned that emotion in kind. Venus could see the red string between their hearts too. Makoto doesn't remember real story now, but the basic idea of what happened has been with her since middle school, and the intensity of emotion was a shock to her young mind. So much that her mind fabricated modern memories to go along with it.

Kunzite has come up behind Venus, thinking she's unaware of his presence. He should know better. Venus spins around and grabs his hand before he can place it on her shoulder.

"Venus" He greets her, not needing formalities in the gardens after dark. No matter how he may act, they both know the real reason he's here.

"Kunzite. How nice to see you again." Venus likes to maintain formality and guises, to toy with Kunzite like a cat would with a mouse. Only the fate Venus intends for Kunzite is much pleasanter than that of the mouse.

Venus exercises all of her charms on Kunzite, all the time. She leans towards him, just close enough he catches a whiff of her perfume and shampoo. Kunzite maintains his stoicism admirably, but Venus knows that he's close to his breaking point. Decorum and nationality be damned. This flirtation, this battle of wills between them excites them both, but eventually it will come to an end. A tie, of course. Minako eagerly waits to see what's next, but the scene changes again.

This time, it's right before sunset. Venus and Kunzite are relaxing in one of the Lunar garden's groves, one that overlooks a series of canyons facing the sun. No one can see them there. It's so peaceful and beautiful that looking back on it, Venus wants to cry. Minako does cry. It's a wonderful memory. Until the sun goes down.

Then, Minako is drawn into the memory of the end. The heartbreak – Kunzite has his hands around her throat, eyes empty, devoid of his spark. The red string still coming from Venus's heart, searching for Kunzite's, was snapped off, violently somewhere Venus can't sense. It leaves a black hole in Kunzite's chest that only Venus sees. The heartbreak nearly kills her but Venus has a job to do. She feels, rather than sees, her long sword plunge into his chest, right where his heart used reside. With blood in her eyes and splattered on her face intermingling with her tears, Venus twitches her wrist to bring up her chain and coil it around his neck as he blasts her with dark energy, puncturing one of her lungs. It comes to her again vividly, the despair of watching him fall, watching her world burn as her heart is breaking and her lung fills with blood and she can't breathe, drowning, drowning in her own blood laying on her former lover's corpse as it all goes black.

Minako is screaming as she relives what it was like to die. Minako wants to wake up. Venus doesn't. Only at the thought of her living princess does Venus muster up the desire to go on. But Usagi isn't Serenity and Minako isn't Venus, so things will never be the same again. Still, Minako needs Venus, and Venus needs Minako and sometimes the lines between who is who blurs and they decide that it doesn't really matter anyway. It's only during peacetime that Minako and Venus stop living from moment to moment and realize that they aren't the same. They imagine that it's the same for the other senshi, or that it will be soon. Reconciled to each other, Venus and Minako take gasping breaths and wake up. The first things they see are Kunzite's eyes.

They expect him to make some comment about how weak they've become in this modern world, falling to such a pathetic monster, but he only stares, sadly. Minako looks around and sees Mamoru's living room. Venus looks around and sees the Earth Kingdom Palace. Venus does not belong to the present, to peace. Venus belongs to war. They're alone, except for Kunzite, whose stone is on the table in front of the couch they're laying on. Kunzite is transparent, but his eyes– his eyes are alive the way Venus remembers them. When Venus looks at Kunzite through Minako's eyes, something snaps. Minako and Venus come together like a puzzle, finally finding how all the right pieces go together, how Minako's hope and Venus's wisdom match up and complement each other. The change happens in an instant, Minako and Venus balance, and Kunzite smiles, then disappears. Minako is Venus and Venus is Minako. The same person, like they always were. It was the difference in experience that split them. The memories of the older and wiser Venus dominating the younger and more naïve Minako. Minako knows who she is now, and she knows that she and Kunzite will someday meet again, in the flesh. She, Minako, saw the red string stretch out from her heart to Kunzite's.

Now, instead of remembering end of everything at night, Minako plans for a new beginning.

* * *

A/N: This is in the same universe as Lonely Fire. It takes place after that.


End file.
